A Sampling of Past Train Commute Haiku
Train Commute Haiku #587:
Uh oh....gangbangers
You don't wanna tangle with
The Red Hat Brigade
Train Commute Haiku #581:
A snow-covered sign
Confuses Dairy Queen guests
"Home of the lizzard"
Train Commute Haiku #575:
Perhaps you don't know
That when you chew your ice cubes
It makes my skin crawl
Train Commute Haiku #572:
On this frigid morn
She's tough, courageous and dumb
In her mini skirt
Train Commute Haiku #568:
Flip back a page, please
I wasn't done reading yet
You read too quickly
Train Commute Haiku #560:
Cold and flu season
Is a lovely time of year
To take a train ride
Train Commute Haiku #540:
She pulls out her book
And nervously looks around
50 Shades of Grey
Train Commute Haiku #498:
Can't help but notice
You misspelled "perfectionist"
On your résumé
Train Commute Haiku #497:
Amtrak just ignores
My weekly request to add
A duty-free shop
Train Commute Haiku #496:
Things are looking up
The new "Arrive" magazine
Is in our seatbacks
Train Commute Haiku #495:
Soaring red-tailed hawk
Preparing to attack us
Circling the caboose
Train Commute Haiku #494:
No, you can’t sit here
To be quite honest with you
I need some me time
Train Commute Haiku #493:
Over on our right
You'll see Ken's Skeet Shooting Club
That concludes our tour
Train Commute Haiku #492:
Amtrak engineers
Don't seem to like it when I
Call them Casey Jones
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyuc8Rm0zG4
Train Commute Haiku #491:
Your phone is ringing
You going to get that, sir?
Should I answer it?
Train Commute Haiku #490:
On the count of three
Let’s stand up, stretch out and do
The Locomotion
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkN4J2l1UaA
Train Commute Haiku #489:
Standing room only
Or else they're giving me a
Standing ovation
Train Commute Haiku #488:
He's the type of guy
Who identifies each crop
Then says it out loud
Train Commute Haiku #487:
The raunchy headlines
In her Redbook Magazine
Are making me blush
Train Commute Haiku #486:
That young fawn dreams of
Berries, twigs, clover, bark and
Pulling Santa's sleigh
Train Commute Haiku #485:
When I board the train
I oftentimes call shotgun
But to no avail
Train Commute Haiku #484:
She plays online chess
And if it looks like she'll lose
She just swears and quits
Train Commute Haiku #483:
Bow ties make him look
A bit like Pee Wee Herman
Or Dagwood Bumstead
Train Commute Haiku #482:
His strategy for
Deterring would-be seatmates?
Remove shoes and socks
Train Commute Haiku #481:
No problem, mister
Feel free to borrow my pen
You steal it, you're dead!
Train Commute Haiku #480:
Seagulls and pigeons
Like the Hatfields and McCoys
Can't stand each other
Train Commute Haiku #479:
We need some more rain
Or else that farmer's crop will
Turn into popcorn
Train Commute Haiku #478:
She's a speed reader
Flipping through her seventh book
Since our trip began
Train Commute Haiku #477:
Put on your long johns
The train's air conditioning
Is set on "Igloo"
Train Commute Haiku #476:
I wish I had known
I'd hear your whole life story
When I asked, "What's up?"
Train Commute Haiku #475:
That weeping willow
Just needs a little pep talk
Hang in there, buddy
Train Commute Haiku #474:
I hope you're comfy
Sprawled out on your La-Z-Boy
Taking up four seats
Train Commute Haiku #473:
Could you please move, sir?
I don’t mean to interrupt
Your seven-course meal
Train Commute Haiku #472:
A friendly request
For whoever keeps tooting
Put a cork in it
Train Commute Haiku #471:
You are mistaken
These are not Bugle Boy Jeans
Thanks for asking, ma’am
Train Commute Haiku #470:
I’ve started to hum
“Skip to the loo, my darlin’”
Each time she goes pee
Train Commute Haiku #469:
In lush, green pastures
The shepherd tends to his flock
On his ATV
Train Commute Haiku #468:
Hey, Captain Caveman
Must you comb your luscious locks
For 15 minutes?
Train Commute Haiku #467:
That gaggle of geese
Seems to enjoy eating grass
And smoking it, too
Train Commute Haiku #466:
That guy is watching
An old episode of "ALF"
On his telephone
Train Commute Haiku #465:
When you wear earphones
There’s no need to talk so loud
We hear you just fine
Train Commute Haiku #464:
I’m not sure if they’re
In line for that DMV
Or for Chuck E. Cheese
Train Commute Haiku #463:
I think it's quite sweet
That Amtrak offers pillows
But I'll pass, thank you
Train Commute Haiku #462:
Her bright blouse matches
The fluorescent green pond scum
There on yonder farm
Train Commute Haiku #461:
Where did you find TaB?
Did you pull it from your fridge
In 1980?
Train Commute Haiku #460:
Has anybody
Ever said you resemble
The Purple Pie Man?
Train Commute Haiku #459:
Chew on this advice
My new chatty, hungry friend
Say it, don’t spray it
Train Commute Haiku #458:
Your Axe Body Spray
Must be very effective
For attracting moose
Train Commute Haiku #457:
I don’t like goodbyes
Parting is such sweet sorrow
Farewell, train seatmate
Train Commute Haiku #456:
Mr. Fancy Pants
I hate to break it to you
Your fly is open
Train Commute Haiku #455:
Hey there, Max Headroom
I think three Coca-Colas
Should suffice for now
Train Commute Haiku #454:
Light morning drizzle
Like Mother Nature's carwash
For our filthy train
Train Commute Haiku #453:
Our morning commute
Is shorter than the night trip
Due to the tailwinds
Train Commute Haiku #452:
When you chew your gum
The loud snapping and popping
Really drives me nuts
Train Commute Haiku #451:
The honk of the train
Forms an eerie duet with
The honk of the crane
Train Commute Haiku #450:
It would be more fun
If this trip were narrated
By Morgan Freeman
Train Commute Haiku #449:
She starts out her morn
Drinking a bloody Mary
And eating Cheez-Its
Train Commute Haiku #448:
High school class bound for
Chicago’s Art Institute
Like Ferris Bueller
Train Commute Haiku #447:
She says she has a
Type A personality
I’d give it a D
Train Commute Haiku #446:
That seat is vacant
Just like the stare on her face
The past 80 miles
Train Commute Haiku #445:
Tomorrow I'll bring
My Atari 400
And just type away
Train Commute Haiku #444:
Do me a favor
When you open your yogurt
Don't point it at me
Train Commute Haiku #443:
He’s mowing his lawn
At 7:30 a.m.
Without a shirt on
Train Commute Haiku #442:
Pardon me, Madame
But the dog in your handbag
Keeps licking my arm
Train Commute Haiku #441:
Seven mallard ducks
Swoop down and glide through the pond
Like water skiers
Train Commute Haiku #440:
We’re slightly delayed
Because our train engineer
Couldn’t find his keys
Train Commute Haiku #439:
That bomb-sniffing dog
Seemed interested in my
Scooby Doo lunch box
Train Commute Haiku #438:
If you fall asleep
I'll take your Twix candy bar
You snooze, you lose, pal
Train Commute Haiku #437:
I think that guy has
Spring fever and March madness
Or he's just plain nuts
Train Commute Haiku #436:
This train is more fun
Than a barrel of monkeys
And smellier, too
Train Commute Haiku #435:
Unlike John Denver
This sunshine on my shoulder
Just makes me quite hot
Train Commute Haiku #434:
We don’t need a map
To get us to Chicago
We use GPS
Train Commute Haiku #433:
Six chubby pigeons
Flap their wings as if to say
Farewell, safe travels
Train Commute Haiku #432:
Back in the Wild West
I bet those train robberies
Annoyed commuters
Train Commute Haiku #431:
If you must know, ma’am
I’m heading off to my job
As a gigolo
Train Commute Haiku #430:
Your business card says
You sell pharmaceuticals
I’ll have some Advil
Train Commute Haiku #429:
Let's rush the engine
And take this for a joyride
Down to Joliet
Train Commute Haiku #428:
This pineapple juice
Is good for vitamin C
Bad for my keyboard
Train Commute Haiku #427:
The world speeds past me
A blur of beige fields, gray woods
And Olive Gardens
Train Commute Haiku #426:
You guys resemble
The Traveling Wilburys
Off to your next gig
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwqhdRs4jyA
Train Commute Haiku #425:
You can’t trick us, ma’am
You didn’t powder your nose
You had to tinkle
Train Commute Haiku #424:
That junkyard has a
Surprisingly large number
Of white limousines
Train Commute Haiku #423:
Please stop eavesdropping
Can’t you see that I am just
Talking to myself?
Train Commute Haiku #422:
She uses chopsticks
To eat noodles on the train
She needs a napkin
Train Commute Haiku #421:
Our conductor’s hat
Gives him magic powers like
Frosty the Snowman
Train Commute Haiku #420:
We should play charades
You first. Hmmm. Let’s see. How ‘bout
Raving lunatic?
Train Commute Haiku #419:
You should ask Siri
If she thinks you talk too much
I bet she’d say yes
Train Commute Haiku #418:
Your mock turtleneck
Isn’t fooling anyone
The jig is up, pal
Train Commute Haiku #417:
He hacked up a lung
I’m not exaggerating
His lung’s on the floor
Train Commute Haiku #416:
I just cannot place
Your mysterious accent
Are you from Tomah?
Train Commute Haiku #415:
Are you color blind?
Or do you think your brown shoe
Matches your black one?
Train Commute Haiku #414:
The song you’re humming
Is hauntingly hypnotic
And slightly off-key
Train Commute Haiku #413:
That gal has either
A bad case of railway rage
Or Tourette syndrome
Train Commute Haiku #412:
Don't tell our driver
That he has a big caboose
He dislikes that joke
Train Commute Haiku #411:
Nice sunglasses, dude
Those will be more effective
After the sunrise
Train Commute Haiku #410:
Sometimes I feel I'm
On a train bound for nowhere
Like Kenny Rogers
Train Commute Haiku #409:
Is that a neck brace
An ugly travel pillow
Or a huge croissant?
Train Commute Haiku #408:
I have a view of
A dense tropical jungle
Nope, that’s his ear hair
Train Commute Haiku #407:
With curtains, artwork
A rug and some throw pillows
This train could be cute
Train Commute Haiku #406:
I have never used
The restroom aboard this train
On my bucket list
Train Commute Haiku #405:
Hey, Cubs fan. Yeah you
This train car ain't big enough
For the two of us
Train Commute Haiku #404:
Let me guess. For lunch
You ate garlic-stuffed pork chops
Minus the pork chops
Train Commute Haiku #403:
If my train commute
Were like the show "Survivor"
We would vote you off
Train Commute Haiku #402:
Please stop that yawning
Don’t you know it’s contagious,
And sometimes deadly?
Train Commute Haiku #401:
Will you join me, sir
When I lead a conga line
Back to the caboose?
Train Commute Haiku #400:
Hey, Captain Stubing
Make the jump to hyperspace
Or else we’ll be late
Train Commute Haiku #399:
Well, at least say hi
Ms. Cranky McCrankerson
Now that we're seatmates
Train Commute Haiku #398:
O...I C D ducks!
C D E B D B wings?
M R bay B ducks
Train Commute Haiku #397:
You must be quite blessed
Cuz your cup runneth over
Onto my left shoe
Train Commute Haiku #396:
We're all pleased as punch
That you bought fancy, new boots
Now please just sit down
Train Commute Haiku #395:
Don't worry, mister
If you choke on that bear claw
I know Phil Heimlich
Train Commute Haiku #394:
What’s in your smoothie?
Looks like bananas, cherries
And some Jack Daniels
Train Commute Haiku #393:
I must warn you, ma'am
My middle name is danger
But sure...have a seat
Train Commute Haiku #392:
"Are those new slacks, Barb?"
"No, Sue. I've worn these for years"
"Well, they're really sharp"
Train Commute Haiku #391:
Why is it so hard
For Amtrak to sell me a
Gallon of eggnog?!?!?
Train Commute Haiku #390:
This year for Christmas
I gave our train engineer
Some new fuzzy dice
Train Commute Haiku #389:
The Polar Express
Isn't nearly as festive
As my Amtrak train
Train Commute Haiku #388:
It's unanimous
Loud music is your forte
Get it? Loud...Forte...
Train Commute Haiku #387:
Seatbelt light is on
Due to slight train turbulence
Caused by his snoring
Train Commute Haiku #386:
I see you brought snacks
Did you bring enough to share
With the entire train?
Train Commute Haiku #385:
On Dasher, Prancer
On Comet, Cupid, Blitzen
And on Wisconsin!!!!
Train Commute Haiku #384:
Golden rising sun
Burning and stinging my eyes
Like a huge grapefruit
Train Commute Haiku #382:
Hey, Ms. Grumpy Pants
Don't be hateful, be grateful
It's almost Tuesday
Train Commute Haiku #381:
Will your story end?
It goes on and on and on
Like this ABBA song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_RNwCwRndg
Train Commute Haiku #380:
Please turn down the heat
Amtrak Hiawatha is
A rolling sauna!
Train Commute Haiku #379:
A red-tailed hawk soars
Bluebirds and loons migrate as
He plays Angry Birds
Train Commute Haiku #378:
We don't need to hear
A play-by-play of each meal
You ate this weekend
Train Commute Haiku #377:
Did you wet your pants?
Or did you spill your RC?
Either way, tough luck
Train Commute Haiku #376:
For added drama
I am playing the soundtrack
From the movie "Speed"
Train Commute Haiku #375:
I must inform you
That is not an armrest, ma'am
That is my left leg
Train Commute Haiku #374:
Good morning, farmer
Like me, you're up quite early
Watching the sheep graze
Train Commute Haiku #373:
Why did you switch seats?
Is it something that I said?
Is it my moustache?
Train Commute Haiku #372:
I give you credit
For wearing tight, leather pants
On Monday morning
Train Commute Haiku #371:
Some people have a
Rather dry sense of humor
Yours is quite juicy
Train Commute Haiku #370:
The McRib is back
I know, cuz it's on your face
And your telephone
Train Commute Haiku #369:
What are you sketching?
It looks like it's my profile
Or Grover Cleveland
Train Commute Haiku #368:
Amtrak has honored
My "Select Plus Gold" status
With Chili's coupons
Train Commute Haiku #367:
It's a real close call
But I'm not sure what's louder
Your voice or your tie
Train Commute Haiku #366:
Your six silver chains
Accentuate your gleaming
Bushy gray chest hair
Train Commute Haiku #364:
With my new earphones
I can't hear a thing you say
So don't even start
Train Commute Haiku #363:
Rolling into town
I always keep my eyes peeled
For Oprah Winfrey
Train Commute Haiku #362:
You apply makeup
Like a Picasso painting
Or Bozo the Clown
Train Commute Haiku #361:
I do not know why
I giggle each time you say
Orel Hershiser
Train Commute Haiku #360:
Zero to 60
In about 40 minutes
With a strong tailwind
Train Commute Haiku #359:
It's cool that you take
An online Spanish course, but
Por favor...shut up
Train Commute Haiku #358:
Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!
Pull the train over right now!
Belts on sale at Sears!
Train Commute Haiku #357:
The guy to my left
Just sold all of his Ford stock
He must prefer trains
Train Commute Haiku #355:
It's unfortunate
This train doesn't have barf bags
Cuz you make me sick
Train Commute Haiku #353:
Shiver me timbers!
Long John Silver’s employee
Ye shirt is stained. Arrrrrr!
Train Commute Haiku #352
Kids at the bus stop
Why didn't you wave today?
Please wave tomorrow
Train Commute Haiku #350:
The trees are changing
Into their bright, colorful
Bill Cosby sweaters
Train Commute Haiku #348:
That’s strong aftershave
Did the bottle spill on you?
Did you bathe in it?
Train Commute Haiku #346:
Cute older couple
Off for fun in Chicago
With full fanny packs
Train Commute Haiku #345:
The gal next to me
Rubbed perfume ads on her neck
Eau de magazine
Train Commute Haiku #344:
Crossword puzzle guy
Number 38 across
Is not “ALE” Lincoln
Train Commute Haiku #342:
Just saw an eagle
A very majestic bird
And, like me, quite bald
Train Commute Haiku #341:
Eavesdropping on the
Sausage King of Chicago
Full of baloney
Train Commute Haiku #340:
Your analysis
Of your urinalysis
Is pissing me off
Train Commute Haiku #339:
Chicago skyline
Looms far off in the distance
Flipping me the bird
Train Commute Haiku #338:
Edward Sneezy Hands
Are you allergic to me?
And to Kleenexes?
Train Commute Haiku #336:
We were just airborne
Who’s driving this train today?
The Dukes of Hazzard?
Train Commute Haiku #333:
Do you have to be
So bright-eyed and bushy-tailed?
Tone it down a notch
Train Commute Haiku #329:
Tip for commuters:
If someone hijacks this train
Get off in Glenview
Train Commute Haiku #327:
Let’s play Simon Says
Simon says don’t kick my seat
Hmmmm, that didn’t work
Train Commute Haiku #325:
I see you have gum
You should offer me a piece
I too like to chew
Train Commute Haiku #321:
Jeepers creepers, ma’am
Where did you get those peepers?
From Harry Caray?
Train Commute Haiku #319:
Why is she surprised
Each day when the conductor
Asks for her ticket?
Train Commute Haiku #316:
This train is quite slow
If I walked to Chicago
I just might beat it
Train Commute Haiku #315:
Your Egg McMuffin
Looks extremely delicious
May I have a bite?
Train Commute Haiku #313:
A passenger poll
Indicates you’re overdressed
And underwhelming
Train Commute Haiku #312:
He starts out each day
Reading obituaries
And then the comics
Train Commute Haiku #310:
Had that dream again
That I was riding the train
Completely naked
Train Commute Haiku #309:
The age-old saying
“Knee-high by 4th of July”
Referred to your socks
Train Commute Haiku #305:
If your objective
Is to try to annoy me
You are succeeding
Train Commute Haiku #302:
The graceful heron
Silently stands in the pond
Fishing for muskies
Train Commute Haiku #295:
Wow, you pee a lot
What is your name anyways?
Urethra Franklin?
Train Commute Haiku #291:
This train should stop at
Six Flags Great America
But it never does
Train Commute Haiku #287:
Mud-splattered windows
Obscure my view of farmlands,
Rolling hills and Kohl’s
Train Commute Haiku #283:
What smells like mothballs?
Are mothballs in your pocket?
Are moths chasing you?
Train Commute Haiku #282:
His Doritos bag
Says it includes four servings
But he just found one
Train Commute Haiku #280:
I see you’re reading
Dan Brown’s “The Da Vinci Code”
(The butler did it)
Train Commute Haiku #277:
We’re the odd couple
You like shouting on your phone
And I don’t like that
Train Commute Haiku #276:
Four breakfast food groups:
Eggs, bacon, donuts and juice
Are on your neck tie
Train Commute Haiku #272:
Still following me
He’s tailed me since Milwaukee
Just can’t shake this guy
Train Commute Haiku #270:
I used to believe
Whoever smelt it, dealt it
But that was not me
Train Commute Haiku #269:
While you were sleeping
I changed your Facebook status
“Off to get sex change”
Train Commute Haiku #262:
What are you knitting?
That’s either an ugly scarf
Or a dead emu
Train Commute Haiku #259:
Hey! Where were you two?
Did you join the mile high club?
This ain’t the love train!!
Train Commute Haiku #249:
On seat 13 D
Either someone peeled onions
Or a snake molted
Train Commute Haiku #247:
I mean no offense
But I think your pacemaker
Is turned up too high
Train Commute Haiku #244:
This is fat Tuesday
No, it isn’t Mardi Gras
I just ate too much
Train Commute Haiku #243:
She’s 87
She is reading “The Onion”
And she looks confused
Train Commute Haiku #241:
Your sinister laugh
Is making me suspicious
I’m watching you, bub
Train Commute Haiku #239:
Autumn leaves falling
Like that dude on the sidewalk
I think he’ll be fine
Train Commute Haiku #234:
That’s a nice beret
You’re an international
Man of mystery
Train Commute Haiku #232:
You’re nine months pregnant?
Just to be on the safe side
I Googled “child birth”
Train Commute Haiku #228:
Like this Amtrak train
My belt is reversible
And nearly as long
Train Commute Haiku #225:
Don’t glare at me, ma’am
I’m not the one who tooted
Clearly that’s a skunk
Train Commute Haiku #218:
Will you really use
That Nextel walkie talkie
For 90 minutes?
Train Commute Haiku #217:
Have we met before?
You look quite familiar
Rocky Rococo?
Train Commute Haiku #213:
I’m pretty certain
Our blaring train whistle blows
In the key of E
Train Commute Haiku #210:
Hey there, Joe Camel
Smoking is prohibited
In the vestibules
Train Commute Haiku #209:
I get quite dizzy
Staring out the train window
But I don't mind much
Train Commute Haiku #208:
His cup is half-full
Because he spilled hot coffee
On my leg, not his
Train Commute Haiku #201:
Mr. Doolittle
You certainly don’t do much
Would you like a book?
Train Commute Haiku #200:
Beautiful morning
The sunrise is breathtaking
Really. I can’t breathe
Train Commute Haiku #197:
My new telephone
Came with a free compass app
I’m traveling south
Train Commute Haiku #195:
I’m a bit concerned
This guy just keeps on watching
The Zapruder film
Train Commute Haiku #190:
Don’t look at my screen
Yes. You. You’re a screen looker
Look out the window
Train Commute Haiku #189:
Why so serious?
Are you a no-nonsense guy?
I’m a nonsense guy
Train Commute Haiku #186:
Left side of my face
Is tanner than the right side
Due to the sunrise
Train Commute Haiku #185:
I sit near the front
Because if my train crashes
I’m the first to know
Train Commute Haiku #182:
Babe Ruth of snoring
You’re in a league of your own
A hall of famer
Train Commute Haiku #180:
How embarrassing
To make a long story short
Clearly that’s a man
Train Commute Haiku #174:
Refreshment cart guy
If the caboose is rockin’
Don’t bother knockin’
Train Commute Haiku #172:
Today you’re my muse
Gal in pinstripe business suit
Paired with Reebok shoes
Train Commute Haiku #170:
It’s way too early
To be so loud and angry
That nun needs to chill
Train Commute Haiku #168:
Like the Titanic
And the Edmund Fitzgerald
My train has issues
Train Commute Haiku #166:
My deodorant
Is Old Spice Spring Mountain Breeze
What do you think, ma’am?
Train Commute Haiku #163:
Crows circle above
Hunting their favorite prey
Chicken McNuggets
Train Commute Haiku #162:
Would anyone mind
If the train makes a quick stop?
I spied blackberries
Train Commute Haiku #156:
Don’t mean to name drop
But the guy seated near me
Resembles Don Knotts
Train Commute Haiku #154:
Orders from Treadstone
If Jason Bourne boards my train
Eliminate him!
Train Commute Haiku #150:
Forgive my yawning
It’s not because I’m sleepy
I find you boring
Train Commute Haiku #149:
Seated near a mime
Gave him the silent treatment
Two can play that game
Train Commute Haiku #148:
He looks like James Dean
He talks like Jimmy Stewart
He smells like Jim Beam
Train Commute Haiku #145:
Whenever you say
“Boy, you can say that again”
I oftentimes do
Train Commute Haiku #142:
Why sit next to me
When those two seats are open?
My cologne, perhaps?
Train Commute Haiku #140:
There’s only one thing
That could improve this train ride:
SkyMall Magazine
Train Commute Haiku #138:
The ugly duckling
I spied last month in that pond
Is still quite ugly
Train Commute Haiku #134:
Eating blueberries
Yes, blueberries on the train
Got the choo choo blues
Train Commute Haiku #133:
That horse in the field
Won’t win too many races
He’s rather portly
Train Commute Haiku #125:
Amtrak has denied
My voluminous requests
To practice bagpipes
Train Commute Haiku #119:
Am I seeing things?
Are you flossing on the train?
Inconceivable!
Train Commute Haiku #110:
Overheard on train:
“Haven’t I seen you before?
In my dreams, perhaps?”
Train Commute Haiku #93:
Finches, robins, wrens
Warblers and cranes have returned
They're tan and rested
Train Commute Haiku #90:
The Nina, Pinta
And the Santa Maria
Smoother rides than this
Train Commute Haiku #82:
Graffiti on bridge
Like a free art show each day
There goes a Monet!
Train Commute Haiku #80:
I’m seated backwards
I’m not sure where I’m going
But know where I’ve been
Train Commute Haiku #74:
The gal next to me
Has legs like Tina Turner,
Breath like Ike Turner
Train Commute Haiku #68:
Mr. Sudoku
Well, you’ve screwed up yet again
Next time don’t use ink
Train Commute Haiku #65:
Eight whist deer in field
Don’t just stand around freezing
Play some reindeer games!
Train Commute Haiku #63:
Excuse me, mister
Don’t read over my shoulder
I’ll break your femur
Train Commute Haiku #58:
Mr. NASCAR fan
Your Technicolor dream coat
Makes Joseph’s look dull
Train Commute Haiku #57:
Stop staring at me
What is your problem, lady?
Must think I’m Brad Pitt
Train Commute Haiku #54:
I’d change this line’s name
From Amtrak Hiawatha
To Grand Funk Railroad
Train Commute Haiku #44:
There goes the Metra
Like ships passing in the night
But on the railroad
Train Commute Haiku #42:
First snow of the year
Like piles of baked Alaska
But not quite as sweet
Train Commute Haiku #40:
Hey there, conductor
Can the train stop at Target?
That man needs Speed Stick
Train Commute Haiku #28:
That fellow’s running
Fast as a locomotive
But we’re going slow
Train Commute Haiku #22:
Funyuns for breakfast?
Stay away from me, lady
With your stinky breath
Train Commute Haiku #18:
I’m North by Northwest
Silver Streak, Polar Express
Stranger on a Train
Train Commute Haiku #15:
Old man in the suit
Stop sleeping on my shoulder
And now you’re drooling!
Train Commute Haiku #14:
Cubs fans on my train
You think you are so special
You are mistaken
Train Commute Haiku #12:
Now I've seen it all
The guy sitting behind me?
Trimming his toenails
Train Commute Haiku #6:
Scarecrow in the field
You are not scaring those crows
They're eating the corn!
Train Commute Haiku #1:
This loud train horn blows
The sun is not yet awake
I should be in bed