Train Commute Haiku©
Reflections and observations from my daily train commute. All aboard the Amtrak Hiawatha...17 syllables Per Hour
Today's Train Commute Haiku:
Cheesy pickup lines
Don't seem to be working yet
But he's persistent
Cheesy pickup lines
Don't seem to be working yet
But he's persistent
Train Commute Haiku #804:
In a fit of rage
She tears off her loud headphones
Silencing Enya
Train Commute Haiku #803:
Battling Arctic temps
Seeking food, warmth and shelter
Eskimos head south
Train Commute Haiku #802:
"Mind if I recline?"
"I'd prefer you don't," she says
He does anyways
Train Commute Haiku #801:
Nestled snug and warm
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse
Train Commute Haiku #800:
Like a large snow globe
With countless fragile white flakes
Dandruff gently falls
Train Commute Haiku #799:
He is lost in thought
Like Rodin's "Thinker" sculpture
Browsing cyber deals
Train Commute Haiku #798:
Cotton candy clouds
Float over Lake Michigan
Causing cavities
Train Commute Haiku #797:
She hums the theme song
While watching "Bewitched" reruns
So I harmonize
Train Commute Haiku #796:
Chicago police
Search the streets for creepy clowns
Find creepy Cubs fans
Train Commute Haiku #795:
Fellow head-banger
In the Amtrak quiet car
Silently rocks out
Train Commute Haiku #794:
As the train pulls in
I will wake him up and say
"Welcome to Detroit!"
Train Commute Haiku #793:
I have sat next to
Grumpy, Sleepy and Dopey
Now I've met Sneezey
Train Commute Haiku #792:
He sips hot coffee
Then he drinks some cold water
He's McDLT
Train Commute Haiku #791:
He starts his morning
By scanning the railway for
Pokemon creatures
Train Commute Haiku #790:
Internet issues
So he asks the conductor
For I.T. support
Train Commute Haiku #789:
Bright July sunrise
And my stellar beatboxing
Disrupt her naptime
Train Commute Haiku #788:
Like a maze of maize
The endless rows of sweet corn
Trap rookie farmers
Train Commute Haiku #787:
He closes his eyes
Puts his head on my shoulder
Commutes to Dreamland
Train Commute Haiku #786:
She shoots me a glance
Then inserts her contact lens
A sight for sore eyes
Train Commute Haiku #785:
She thinks to herself
"Gosh, I'm so lucky to have
Such a swell seatmate"
Train Commute Haiku #784:
His playlist includes
Smooth, calm songs from Enya and
Marilyn Manson
Train Commute Haiku #783:
Quiet, smooth train ride
Reveals his narcolepsy
And halitosis
Train Commute Haiku #782:
He swirls, sniffs and sips
Like a true wine connoisseur
Then slams his Red Bull
Train Commute Haiku #781:
He swirls, sniffs and sips
Like a true wine connoisseur
Then slams his Red Bull
Train Commute Haiku #780:
These bosom buddies
Spend most of their train commute
Discussing bosoms
Train Commute Haiku #779
When he first sat down
My seatmate was clean-shaven
Werewolves of Amtrak
Train Commute Haiku #778
I'm worried that he'll
Bite off more than he can chew
But he's tough as nails
Train Commute Haiku #777
With a subtle grin
He closes his chess handbook
And whispers, "Checkmate"
Train Commute Haiku #776
Unless he uses
Half of my seat and my thigh
He can't get comfy
Train Commute Haiku #775
Wearing a Bluetooth
Allows him to use both hands
And talk more loudly
Train Commute Haiku #774:
Since boarding the train
He's eaten 14 crackers
Puttin' on the Ritz
Train Commute Haiku #773:
Train nearly empty
Yet he chose to stand by me
And loudly chit-chat
Train Commute Haiku #772:
The horn keeps blowing
During his phone interview
It's not going well
Train Commute Haiku #771:
The conductor said
"You'd like it in the caboose"
She just laughed and blushed
Train Commute Haiku #770:
She likes her coffee
With two packets of sugar
And peppermint schnapps
Train Commute Haiku #769:
A fun tradition
For many train passengers
Is mooning the cars
Train Commute Haiku #768:
He peers from the train
With pretend binoculars
Search for sanity
Train Commute Haiku #767:
Like Arctic penguins
Battling the frigid weather
Commuters waddle
Train Commute Haiku #766:
His soft, red hoodie
Gives warmth and comfort, just like
Linus's blanket
Train Commute Haiku #765:
Red sky is a sign
To meteorologists
That Rudolph is lost
Train Commute Haiku #764:
He whispers, "Oh my"
Viewing the lavender sky
Then loosens his tie
Train Commute Haiku #763:
While some people nap
He works nonstop, keeping his
Nose to the grindstone
Train Commute Haiku #762:
His smile quickly fades
Concerned that his horoscope
Predicts his demise
Train Commute Haiku #761:
For some passengers
His laughter is contagious
But I am immune
Train Commute Haiku #760:
He pretends to sleep
While his colleague discusses
Plans for the trade show
Train Commute Haiku #759:
Like migrating geese
Commuters journey southward
Hissing and honking
Train Commute Haiku #758:
Rehearsing his speech
He also works on a few
Awkward hand gestures
Train Commute Haiku #757:
Ruthless scavengers
Rifle through this man's briefcase
Thinking he has died
Train Commute Haiku #756:
Innocent pumpkins
Soon will be stabbed with a knife
And their guts ripped out
Train Commute Haiku #755:
She stares longingly
At my rain-soaked umbrella
Jealous, angry, wet
Train Commute Haiku #754:
If the train slows down
I'll jump out and pick apples
For all passengers
Train Commute Haiku #753:
He cracks his knuckles
After typing a long text
Then resumes texting
Train Commute Haiku #752:
She's getting upset
Cuz the silver stilettos
Aren't made in her size
Train Commute Haiku #751:
Just like The Penguin
He carries an umbrella
For crime and mayhem
Train Commute Haiku #750:
After books and snacks
Mom and child sing "Crazy Train"
By Ozzy Osbourne
Train Commute Haiku #749:
It would be cruel
If my seatmate's pool of drool
Dripped onto my arm
Train Commute Haiku #748:
He just blew his nose
Then he used the same tissue
To clean his iPad
Train Commute Haiku #747:
To prevent a sneeze
She pinches her nostrils shut
Fails miserably
Train Commute Haiku #746:
Right after boarding
She drank 5-Hour Energy
She needs a refund
Train Commute Haiku #745:
She writes secret notes
Then rudely shields her laptop
From my prying eyes
Train Commute Haiku #744:
He called to confirm
Today's dentist appointment
It's at tooth hurty
Train Commute Haiku #743:
The monk next to me
In traditional brown robe
Chanting in his sleep
Train Commute Haiku #742:
Voracious reader
Rifles through "The Hunger Games"
And eats her bookmark
Train Commute Haiku #741:
After a huge sneeze
I offered him a tissue
But he used his sleeve
Train Commute Haiku #740:
Every few miles
He performs odd dance moves like
Elaine from "Seinfeld"
Train Commute Haiku #739:
That chap has chapped lips
So he applies his ChapStick
Every few miles
Train Commute Haiku #738:
We bet the Metra
We'd get to Chicago first
Fast and furious
Train Commute Haiku #737:
Bright, dazzling sunrise
Reflects off of my wristwatch
Right into her eyes
Train Commute Haiku #736:
She's kinda grumpy
Because today's Monday and
I spilled her Red Bull
Train Commute Haiku #735:
Twelve railway workers
Gather on the frigid tracks
To change a light bulb
Train Commute Haiku #734:
Questions for Siri
Give me the chance to practice
Ventriloquism
Train Commute Haiku #733:
He was wakened by
A deafening commotion
His thundering snores
Train Commute Haiku #732:
He called his mother
To say hi and remind her
That it's garbage day
Train Commute Haiku #731:
His carbon footprint
Measured through gas emissions
Is way off the charts
Train Commute Haiku #730:
I brought a shovel
In case they make us get out
And help clear the tracks
Train Commute Haiku #729:
Despite begs and bribes
He won't let me sit next to
The train's engineer
Train Commute Haiku #728:
When he is nervous
He will bite his fingernails
And sometimes toenails
Train Commute Haiku #727:
He took Dramamine
To prevent motion sickness
I'm praying it works
Train Commute Haiku #726:
To prevent freezing
Amtrak ignites tracks and plays
"Chariots of Fire"
Train Commute Haiku #725:
Since he fell asleep
During his conference call
I've been chiming in
Train Commute Haiku #724:
He proudly achieved
His New Year's resolution:
Pass gas on the train
Train Commute Haiku #723
He's stumped and perplexed
When he went to the bathroom
I moved his bookmark
Train Commute Haiku #722:
She's the first person
I've seen thoroughly read the
Train's safety brochure
Train Commute Haiku #721:
He likes discussing
His health issues with strangers
Sounds like it's just hives
Train Commute Haiku #720:
If you look closely
And squint your eyes together
You'll see a bunny
Train Commute Haiku #719:
Canadian geese
Decide it's time to fly south
When they get goose bumps
Train Commute Haiku #718
He's called "The Rambler"
His loud, obnoxious stories
Last ninety minutes
Train Commute Haiku #717:
It somehow seems wrong
He's reading "The Hunger Games"
While eating a Twix
Train Commute Haiku #716:
Every few mile
He unzips his lunch bag and
Takes inventory
Train Commute Haiku #715:
She firmly believes
This train has a coffee cart
Won't admit she's wrong
Train Commute Haiku #714:
She sips her coffee
Then lets out a little yelp
It is still too hot
Train Commute Haiku #713:
Before they sit down
I always warn seatmates that
I'm a hypnotist
Train Commute Haiku #712:
Prepping for trial
He reviews testimony
And watches "Matlock"
Train Commute Haiku #711:
I'm so embarrassed
I asked for his autograph
He's not Mike Holmgren
Train Commute Haiku #710:
She reads the label
Shaking her head in disgust
Eats it anyways
Train Commute Haiku #709:
I'm saddened that my
Solitaire-playing seatmate
Won't take my advice
Train Commute Haiku #708:
Until they're granted
First-class upgrades and champagne
They refuse to board
Train Commute Haiku #706:
Some people were born
With a chip on their shoulder
Her? She's just messy
Train Commute Haiku #705:
She's lost and confused
So I'm helping Amtrak launch
The buddy system
Train Commute Haiku #704:
Whoever first said
"Actions speak louder than words"
Never heard her talk
Train Commute Haiku #703:
Suspicious woman
Softly chuckles as she reads
Obituaries
Train Commute Haiku #702:
He pretends to cough
As he pops into his mouth
Peanut M&Ms
Train Commute Haiku #701:
Three black stallions
Get scolded by the farmer
For horsing around
Train Commute Haiku #700:
Her ear-splitting slurps
Are drowning out the noise from
Snap, Crackle and Pop
Train Commute Haiku #699:
She has the hiccups
I'll try to cure her with the
Heimlich maneuver
Train Commute Haiku #698:
I can always spot
The new US Sky Marshals
Who practice on trains
Train Commute Haiku #697:
He eats Greek yogurt
I do not know what that is
It's all Greek to me
Train Commute Haiku #696:
She's adding items
To her wedding registry
Four purple placemats
Train Commute Haiku #695:
He spills on keyboard
Then goes through six grief stages
First is denial
Train Commute Haiku #694:
Her smart phone helps them
Settle their debate about
Rick Astley lyrics
Train Commute Haiku #693:
The train conductor
Gently wakes up riders with
Butterfly kisses
Train Commute Haiku #692:
Prior to reading
She gazes at Fabio
On the book cover
Train Commute Haiku #691:
Reading the comics
He pauses to scratch his head
Confused by "Ziggy"
Train Commute Haiku #690:
Pissed-off commuters
Catch large snowflakes on their tongue
Just to spit them out
Train Commute Haiku #689:
Silently he stares
Mesmerized by the sunrise
So I take his lunch
Train Commute Haiku #688:
He's checked the forecast
About seven or eight times
But it hasn't changed
Train Commute Haiku #687:
I get much more done
When my boss sits next to me
He's a great leader
Train Commute Haiku #686:
They march in a line
To the beat of thunderclaps
Umbrella parade
Train Commute Haiku #685:
He chugs his coffee
Then reclines his seat to nap
He must drink decaf
Train Commute Haiku #684:
Each time the horn blows
He jolts upright in his seat
Scared and bewildered
Train Commute Haiku #683:
She cracked, peeled and ate
Six or seven hard-boiled eggs
Not sure...I lost count
Train Commute Haiku #682:
Meditating man
Is asked for his train ticket
No response, no pulse
Train Commute Haiku #681:
She quietly swears
As she's playing Candy Crush
And chewing Skittles
Train Commute Haiku #680:
A woman asked him
If she could sit next to him
He said "Heck yeah, toots"
Train Commute Haiku #679:
Bumpy, wobbly train
Won't deter that artist from
Using PhotoShop
Train Commute Haiku #678:
Angry mallard ducks
Gripe about their frozen pond
Using fowl language
Train Commute Haiku #677:
Just to annoy me
He takes long, loud sips from his
CapriSun juice bag
Train Commute Haiku #676:
His wife can't hear him
No matter how loud he shouts
His phone is on mute
Train Commute Haiku #675:
Kids at the bus stop
Throwing snowballs at the train
Must pitch for the Cubs
Train Commute Haiku #674:
Her journal entry
Rants about some jerk reading
Over her shoulder
Train Commute Haiku #673:
If she falls asleep
Her seven bags of popcorn
Will become six bags
Train Commute Haiku #672:
Amtrak has declared
My seat is now a hot spot
I have hot cross buns
Train Commute Haiku #671:
He enjoys playing
Pin the tail on the donkey
During his commute
Train Commute Haiku #670:
He's completely bored
By my thoughts on the weather
Now...awkward silence
Train Commute Haiku #669:
The train's blowing horn
Forms perfect harmony with
Your loud, blowing nose
Train Commute Haiku #668:
I'm unnerved by his
Loud, maniacal laughter
He's watching "Beaches"
Train Commute Haiku #667:
I asked nicely for
A bite of Egg McMuffin
But he would not share
Train Commute Haiku #666:
He looked all around
To make sure no one saw him
Quickly pick his nose
Train Commute Haiku #665:
I don't have the heart
To tell her that she's wearing
Fabric softener
Train Commute Haiku #664:
After a long day
Nothing goes down better than
Fresh train ice water
Train Commute Haiku #663:
Cops should read my blog
Because each day I report
Something suspicious
Train Commute Haiku #662:
If he thinks he's just
Reading softly to himself
He is mistaken
Train Commute Haiku #661:
Amtrak conductors
Conduct the train passengers
Like an orchestra
Train Commute Haiku #660:
I search city streets
For Chicago lead singer
Peter Cetera
Train Commute Haiku #659:
I realize that
We don't know each other, but
Would you scratch my back?
Train Commute Haiku #658:
He reads "Dear Abby"
Hopefully to brush up on
His train etiquette
Train Commute Haiku #657:
Gifted bird caller
Air whistling through his nostrils
Attracts chickadees
Train Commute Haiku #656:
On snow-covered fields
Cows are just shooting the breeze
And chewing the cud
Train Commute Haiku #655:
I prefer to sit
Next to left-handed people
They don't bump my arm
Train Commute Haiku #654:
After a huge feast
He burrows down and prepares
For hibernation
Train Commute Haiku #653:
There's no escaping
Her powerful, foul perfume
It's my kryptonite
Train Commute Haiku #652:
Cloudy, murky sky
One speck shines through the grayness
Might be Uranus
Train Commute Haiku #651:
I'm not surprised that
He's wearing a wind breaker
He keeps breaking wind
Train Commute Haiku #650:
I will not embark
Unless the train conductor
Hollers "All aboard!"
Train Commute Haiku #649:
Waking from deep sleep
She's not pleased to learn that she
Missed the Glenview stop
Train Commute Haiku #648:
Passing through Northbrook
A young child waves to the train
Old man flips us off
Train Commute Haiku #647:
Sharp, shrill voice so loud
My noise-cancelling headphones
Simply can’t compete
Train Commute Haiku #646:
With his matched outfit
The train aisle is his catwalk
The world is his stage
Train Commute Haiku #645:
Furious fingers
Pound and pummel his keyboard
He sighs and hits send
Train Commute Haiku #644:
Based on my rough count
He's chewing 16 pieces
Of Nicorette gum
Train Commute Haiku #643:
His conference call
Isn't going very well
Based on his swearing
Train Commute Haiku #642:
Each morning I pray
That the train will break down near
The Mars Cheese Castle
Train Commute Haiku #641:
Discreetly he views
YouTube videos on the
Heimlich maneuver
Train Commute Haiku #640:
The new engineer
Puts our train on cruise control
And pulls out a map
Train Commute Haiku #639:
He likes to wear his
Favorite white tube socks on
Casual Friday
Train Commute Haiku #638:
She skips to the end
Of her mystery novel
Cuz she's a cheater
Train Commute Haiku #637:
The Sudoku king
Quickly fills in his puzzle
With a proud, smug grin
Train Commute Haiku #636:
Her M&Ms bag
Clearly says it's "Sharing Size"
Yet she will not share
Train Commute Haiku #635:
Her mouth wide open
The Venus flytrap will lure
Unsuspecting prey
Train Commute Haiku #634:
With painstaking care
He peruses and proofreads
His grocery list
Train Commute Haiku #633:
Amtrak still provides
Clean head lice protector sheets
Each Wednesday morning
Train Commute Haiku #632:
He's a bit nervous
This is his first train commute
He told me four times
Train Commute Haiku #631:
Her sensible shoes
Don't give her enough sense to
Keep them off the seat
Train Commute Haiku #630:
She talks in her sleep
Something about Cary Grant
French toast and syrup
Train Commute Haiku #629:
Overhead light on
He excitedly opens
His romance novel
Train Commute Haiku #628:
Amtrak's policy
Prohibiting loud snoring
Is too lenient
Train Commute Haiku #627:
Passing a golf course
Engineer blows the train's horn
In that guy's backswing
Train Commute Haiku #626:
In awe and wonder
He stares out the train window
Like a four-year-old
Train Commute Haiku #625:
To not be wasteful
Thorough banana eater
Licks the entire peel
Train Commute Haiku #624:
He just shakes his head
While reading the newspaper
Brewers lose again
Train Commute Haiku #623:
I would imagine
That field of wild lilacs smells
Better than this train
Train Commute Haiku #622:
He licks his fingers
Before turning the pages
Of "The Grapes of Wrath"
Train Commute Haiku #621:
Just to spice things up
Amtrak has implemented
Random strip searches
Train Commute Haiku #620:
Ever so softly
"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" is
Leaking from her ears
Train Commute Haiku #619:
Each day when I board
I say to the engineer
"Keep it on the tracks"
Train Commute Haiku #618:
He plays solitaire
With intense concentration
And stupidity
Train Commute Haiku #617:
On this trip she's used
Laptop, iPad, two cell phones
And one Speak 'n Spell
Train Commute Haiku #616:
His subtle smirk means
He’s set to make a killing
On the stock market
Train Commute Haiku #615:
The startled young fawn
Stares at the loud train and asks
"Are you my mother?"
Train Commute Haiku #614:
His hefty briefcase
Combined with his foul cologne
Ensure no seatmates
Train Commute Haiku #613:
We know your secret
You possess super powers
Because of your ring
Train Commute Haiku #612:
Eerie boat graveyard
Haunted by ramshackle yachts
And a small dinghy
Train Commute Haiku #611:
On the count of three
We're all gonna scream real loud
Just to freak her out
Train Commute Haiku #610:
Playing Angry Birds
When he sets a new high score
He does a fist-pump
Train Commute Haiku #609:
Farmer's flooded field
Attracts ducks, geese, swans, cranes and
Water buffalos
Train Commute Haiku #608:
For your own safety
And for my own peace of mind
Would you please sit down?
Train Commute Haiku #607:
It's rather awkward
When the person next to me
Is reading my blog
Train Commute Haiku #606:
Tiny rain droplets
Covering her leather coat
Drip onto my jeans
Train Commute Haiku #605:
You talk so loudly
We know where you ate dinner
And why you have gas
Train Commute Haiku #604:
Train's gentle rocking
Lulls the passengers to sleep
Just like a cradle
Train Commute Haiku #603:
All throughout the train
Passengers cry and complain
In vain about rain
Train Commute Haiku #602:
He taps his fingers
To the beat of hit songs from
The Doobie Brothers
Train Commute Haiku #601:
He sets down his spoon
Sheepishly looks around and
Licks his yogurt lid
Train Commute Haiku #600:
Bright April sunrise
She pulls out her sunglasses
And suntan lotion
Train Commute Haiku #599:
The bumpy train tracks
Make it difficult for her
To apply lipstick
Train Commute Haiku #598:
Much too forcefully
She peels the ripe banana
Contents oozing out
Train Commute Haiku #597:
In like a lion
Middle like a polar bear
And out like a lamb
Train Commute Haiku #596:
She reads "Prevention"
Too bad it doesn't prevent
Her halitosis
Train Commute Haiku #595:
Busy attorney
Fills his yellow legal pad
With pony doodles
Train Commute Haiku #594:
I'm grinning because
I know something you don't know
I'm not left-handed
Train Commute Haiku #593:
He shops on eBay
For a used tennis racquet
I should outbid him
Train Commute Haiku #592:
Cat hair on her coat
Makes me sneezy and itchy
I'll stop petting her
Train Commute Haiku #591:
Our engineer reads
The Little Engine That Could
For motivation
Train Commute Haiku #590:
If she would enter
A staring competition
She would surely win
To read past Train Commute Haiku, [click here].
Since he fell asleep
During his conference call
I've been chiming in
Train Commute Haiku #724:
He proudly achieved
His New Year's resolution:
Pass gas on the train
Train Commute Haiku #723
He's stumped and perplexed
When he went to the bathroom
I moved his bookmark
Train Commute Haiku #722:
She's the first person
I've seen thoroughly read the
Train's safety brochure
Train Commute Haiku #721:
He likes discussing
His health issues with strangers
Sounds like it's just hives
Train Commute Haiku #720:
If you look closely
And squint your eyes together
You'll see a bunny
Train Commute Haiku #719:
Canadian geese
Decide it's time to fly south
When they get goose bumps
Train Commute Haiku #718
He's called "The Rambler"
His loud, obnoxious stories
Last ninety minutes
Train Commute Haiku #717:
It somehow seems wrong
He's reading "The Hunger Games"
While eating a Twix
Train Commute Haiku #716:
Every few mile
He unzips his lunch bag and
Takes inventory
Train Commute Haiku #715:
She firmly believes
This train has a coffee cart
Won't admit she's wrong
Train Commute Haiku #714:
She sips her coffee
Then lets out a little yelp
It is still too hot
Train Commute Haiku #713:
Before they sit down
I always warn seatmates that
I'm a hypnotist
Train Commute Haiku #712:
Prepping for trial
He reviews testimony
And watches "Matlock"
Train Commute Haiku #711:
I'm so embarrassed
I asked for his autograph
He's not Mike Holmgren
Train Commute Haiku #710:
She reads the label
Shaking her head in disgust
Eats it anyways
Train Commute Haiku #709:
I'm saddened that my
Solitaire-playing seatmate
Won't take my advice
Train Commute Haiku #708:
Until they're granted
First-class upgrades and champagne
They refuse to board
Train Commute Haiku #706:
Some people were born
With a chip on their shoulder
Her? She's just messy
Train Commute Haiku #705:
She's lost and confused
So I'm helping Amtrak launch
The buddy system
Train Commute Haiku #704:
Whoever first said
"Actions speak louder than words"
Never heard her talk
Train Commute Haiku #703:
Suspicious woman
Softly chuckles as she reads
Obituaries
Train Commute Haiku #702:
He pretends to cough
As he pops into his mouth
Peanut M&Ms
Train Commute Haiku #701:
Three black stallions
Get scolded by the farmer
For horsing around
Train Commute Haiku #700:
Her ear-splitting slurps
Are drowning out the noise from
Snap, Crackle and Pop
Train Commute Haiku #699:
She has the hiccups
I'll try to cure her with the
Heimlich maneuver
Train Commute Haiku #698:
I can always spot
The new US Sky Marshals
Who practice on trains
Train Commute Haiku #697:
He eats Greek yogurt
I do not know what that is
It's all Greek to me
Train Commute Haiku #696:
She's adding items
To her wedding registry
Four purple placemats
Train Commute Haiku #695:
He spills on keyboard
Then goes through six grief stages
First is denial
Train Commute Haiku #694:
Her smart phone helps them
Settle their debate about
Rick Astley lyrics
Train Commute Haiku #693:
The train conductor
Gently wakes up riders with
Butterfly kisses
Train Commute Haiku #692:
Prior to reading
She gazes at Fabio
On the book cover
Train Commute Haiku #691:
Reading the comics
He pauses to scratch his head
Confused by "Ziggy"
Train Commute Haiku #690:
Pissed-off commuters
Catch large snowflakes on their tongue
Just to spit them out
Train Commute Haiku #689:
Silently he stares
Mesmerized by the sunrise
So I take his lunch
Train Commute Haiku #688:
He's checked the forecast
About seven or eight times
But it hasn't changed
Train Commute Haiku #687:
I get much more done
When my boss sits next to me
He's a great leader
Train Commute Haiku #686:
They march in a line
To the beat of thunderclaps
Umbrella parade
Train Commute Haiku #685:
He chugs his coffee
Then reclines his seat to nap
He must drink decaf
Train Commute Haiku #684:
Each time the horn blows
He jolts upright in his seat
Scared and bewildered
Train Commute Haiku #683:
She cracked, peeled and ate
Six or seven hard-boiled eggs
Not sure...I lost count
Train Commute Haiku #682:
Meditating man
Is asked for his train ticket
No response, no pulse
Train Commute Haiku #681:
She quietly swears
As she's playing Candy Crush
And chewing Skittles
Train Commute Haiku #680:
A woman asked him
If she could sit next to him
He said "Heck yeah, toots"
Train Commute Haiku #679:
Bumpy, wobbly train
Won't deter that artist from
Using PhotoShop
Train Commute Haiku #678:
Angry mallard ducks
Gripe about their frozen pond
Using fowl language
Train Commute Haiku #677:
Just to annoy me
He takes long, loud sips from his
CapriSun juice bag
Train Commute Haiku #676:
His wife can't hear him
No matter how loud he shouts
His phone is on mute
Train Commute Haiku #675:
Kids at the bus stop
Throwing snowballs at the train
Must pitch for the Cubs
Train Commute Haiku #674:
Her journal entry
Rants about some jerk reading
Over her shoulder
Train Commute Haiku #673:
If she falls asleep
Her seven bags of popcorn
Will become six bags
Train Commute Haiku #672:
Amtrak has declared
My seat is now a hot spot
I have hot cross buns
Train Commute Haiku #671:
He enjoys playing
Pin the tail on the donkey
During his commute
Train Commute Haiku #670:
He's completely bored
By my thoughts on the weather
Now...awkward silence
Train Commute Haiku #669:
The train's blowing horn
Forms perfect harmony with
Your loud, blowing nose
Train Commute Haiku #668:
I'm unnerved by his
Loud, maniacal laughter
He's watching "Beaches"
Train Commute Haiku #667:
I asked nicely for
A bite of Egg McMuffin
But he would not share
Train Commute Haiku #666:
He looked all around
To make sure no one saw him
Quickly pick his nose
Train Commute Haiku #665:
I don't have the heart
To tell her that she's wearing
Fabric softener
Train Commute Haiku #664:
After a long day
Nothing goes down better than
Fresh train ice water
Train Commute Haiku #663:
Cops should read my blog
Because each day I report
Something suspicious
Train Commute Haiku #662:
If he thinks he's just
Reading softly to himself
He is mistaken
Train Commute Haiku #661:
Amtrak conductors
Conduct the train passengers
Like an orchestra
Train Commute Haiku #660:
I search city streets
For Chicago lead singer
Peter Cetera
Train Commute Haiku #659:
I realize that
We don't know each other, but
Would you scratch my back?
Train Commute Haiku #658:
He reads "Dear Abby"
Hopefully to brush up on
His train etiquette
Train Commute Haiku #657:
Gifted bird caller
Air whistling through his nostrils
Attracts chickadees
Train Commute Haiku #656:
On snow-covered fields
Cows are just shooting the breeze
And chewing the cud
Train Commute Haiku #655:
I prefer to sit
Next to left-handed people
They don't bump my arm
Train Commute Haiku #654:
After a huge feast
He burrows down and prepares
For hibernation
Train Commute Haiku #653:
There's no escaping
Her powerful, foul perfume
It's my kryptonite
Train Commute Haiku #652:
Cloudy, murky sky
One speck shines through the grayness
Might be Uranus
Train Commute Haiku #651:
I'm not surprised that
He's wearing a wind breaker
He keeps breaking wind
Train Commute Haiku #650:
I will not embark
Unless the train conductor
Hollers "All aboard!"
Train Commute Haiku #649:
Waking from deep sleep
She's not pleased to learn that she
Missed the Glenview stop
Train Commute Haiku #648:
Passing through Northbrook
A young child waves to the train
Old man flips us off
Train Commute Haiku #647:
Sharp, shrill voice so loud
My noise-cancelling headphones
Simply can’t compete
Train Commute Haiku #646:
With his matched outfit
The train aisle is his catwalk
The world is his stage
Train Commute Haiku #645:
Furious fingers
Pound and pummel his keyboard
He sighs and hits send
Train Commute Haiku #644:
Based on my rough count
He's chewing 16 pieces
Of Nicorette gum
Train Commute Haiku #643:
His conference call
Isn't going very well
Based on his swearing
Train Commute Haiku #642:
Each morning I pray
That the train will break down near
The Mars Cheese Castle
Train Commute Haiku #641:
Discreetly he views
YouTube videos on the
Heimlich maneuver
Train Commute Haiku #640:
The new engineer
Puts our train on cruise control
And pulls out a map
Train Commute Haiku #639:
He likes to wear his
Favorite white tube socks on
Casual Friday
Train Commute Haiku #638:
She skips to the end
Of her mystery novel
Cuz she's a cheater
Train Commute Haiku #637:
The Sudoku king
Quickly fills in his puzzle
With a proud, smug grin
Train Commute Haiku #636:
Her M&Ms bag
Clearly says it's "Sharing Size"
Yet she will not share
Train Commute Haiku #635:
Her mouth wide open
The Venus flytrap will lure
Unsuspecting prey
Train Commute Haiku #634:
With painstaking care
He peruses and proofreads
His grocery list
Train Commute Haiku #633:
Amtrak still provides
Clean head lice protector sheets
Each Wednesday morning
Train Commute Haiku #632:
He's a bit nervous
This is his first train commute
He told me four times
Train Commute Haiku #631:
Her sensible shoes
Don't give her enough sense to
Keep them off the seat
Train Commute Haiku #630:
She talks in her sleep
Something about Cary Grant
French toast and syrup
Train Commute Haiku #629:
Overhead light on
He excitedly opens
His romance novel
Train Commute Haiku #628:
Amtrak's policy
Prohibiting loud snoring
Is too lenient
Train Commute Haiku #627:
Passing a golf course
Engineer blows the train's horn
In that guy's backswing
Train Commute Haiku #626:
In awe and wonder
He stares out the train window
Like a four-year-old
Train Commute Haiku #625:
To not be wasteful
Thorough banana eater
Licks the entire peel
Train Commute Haiku #624:
He just shakes his head
While reading the newspaper
Brewers lose again
Train Commute Haiku #623:
I would imagine
That field of wild lilacs smells
Better than this train
Train Commute Haiku #622:
He licks his fingers
Before turning the pages
Of "The Grapes of Wrath"
Train Commute Haiku #621:
Just to spice things up
Amtrak has implemented
Random strip searches
Train Commute Haiku #620:
Ever so softly
"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" is
Leaking from her ears
Train Commute Haiku #619:
Each day when I board
I say to the engineer
"Keep it on the tracks"
Train Commute Haiku #618:
He plays solitaire
With intense concentration
And stupidity
Train Commute Haiku #617:
On this trip she's used
Laptop, iPad, two cell phones
And one Speak 'n Spell
Train Commute Haiku #616:
His subtle smirk means
He’s set to make a killing
On the stock market
Train Commute Haiku #615:
The startled young fawn
Stares at the loud train and asks
"Are you my mother?"
Train Commute Haiku #614:
His hefty briefcase
Combined with his foul cologne
Ensure no seatmates
Train Commute Haiku #613:
We know your secret
You possess super powers
Because of your ring
Train Commute Haiku #612:
Eerie boat graveyard
Haunted by ramshackle yachts
And a small dinghy
Train Commute Haiku #611:
On the count of three
We're all gonna scream real loud
Just to freak her out
Train Commute Haiku #610:
Playing Angry Birds
When he sets a new high score
He does a fist-pump
Train Commute Haiku #609:
Farmer's flooded field
Attracts ducks, geese, swans, cranes and
Water buffalos
Train Commute Haiku #608:
For your own safety
And for my own peace of mind
Would you please sit down?
Train Commute Haiku #607:
It's rather awkward
When the person next to me
Is reading my blog
Train Commute Haiku #606:
Tiny rain droplets
Covering her leather coat
Drip onto my jeans
Train Commute Haiku #605:
You talk so loudly
We know where you ate dinner
And why you have gas
Train Commute Haiku #604:
Train's gentle rocking
Lulls the passengers to sleep
Just like a cradle
Train Commute Haiku #603:
All throughout the train
Passengers cry and complain
In vain about rain
Train Commute Haiku #602:
He taps his fingers
To the beat of hit songs from
The Doobie Brothers
Train Commute Haiku #601:
He sets down his spoon
Sheepishly looks around and
Licks his yogurt lid
Train Commute Haiku #600:
Bright April sunrise
She pulls out her sunglasses
And suntan lotion
Train Commute Haiku #599:
The bumpy train tracks
Make it difficult for her
To apply lipstick
Train Commute Haiku #598:
Much too forcefully
She peels the ripe banana
Contents oozing out
Train Commute Haiku #597:
In like a lion
Middle like a polar bear
And out like a lamb
Train Commute Haiku #596:
She reads "Prevention"
Too bad it doesn't prevent
Her halitosis
Train Commute Haiku #595:
Busy attorney
Fills his yellow legal pad
With pony doodles
Train Commute Haiku #594:
I'm grinning because
I know something you don't know
I'm not left-handed
Train Commute Haiku #593:
He shops on eBay
For a used tennis racquet
I should outbid him
Train Commute Haiku #592:
Cat hair on her coat
Makes me sneezy and itchy
I'll stop petting her
Train Commute Haiku #591:
Our engineer reads
The Little Engine That Could
For motivation
Train Commute Haiku #590:
If she would enter
A staring competition
She would surely win
To read past Train Commute Haiku, [click here].
